Looking for Sunshine in the Heavy Rain

Being a Catholic, I know many others within my religion who sometimes blame God when shit happens. I know it’s easy to, and I can’t explain why, but I’ve never been angry with God when I’m stuck in a shitstorm. Seriously!

I think for a long while I’ve always known things to happen for a reason. It’s the suckiest excuse, but also the truest. When I lost the first love of my life, I couldn’t see why it had to happen (okay I was a crazy ex lol) . Now, all these years later, I know that if it never happened I would’ve never met Ben, who’s allowed me to change into someone I’m actually proud of being.

When events take place so close to each other, and they are all the absolutely definition of crap, it’s hard to step back and take some perspective. Even for the situation that I’m in now, I truly cannot make sense of what is happening. I can only understand that when it is all over, because it has to be at some point, I will be a stronger person. And even if I don’t, even if I remain the same, I will know that there is good to be felt even in darkness. These pictures above were taken at my birthday dinner recently, with my family and my beloved. I felt every bit as happy as shown. No fake smiles at certain angles so I look good – just pure unadulterated happiness. All these taken in the middle of the toiletbowl I seem to be stuck in right now.

I will only look forward to the future because it can only be better – and if I believe so, it will be so. It’s the Law of Attraction! 😉

Thank you to all who have stood by me, because it’s only in dark times you find the light in people. Thank you for being my sunshine in heavy rain.

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